People genuinely make effort towards things they want except for children. Or should I say, mature people genuinely take steps towards things they want except for children?
I've always told people that, one of the major differences between a child and an adult is in how a child lets people or someone begs them or cajole them to do things that will even benefit them the most.
A true adult knows what is good for them and take the extra step to get things done for themselves without anyone pushing them even when the task is not so pleasant.
To buttress my point, I cannot bring this to a conclusion if I don't pen down a lesson I got in this line.
It was a story of a young girl and a young man. Some years ago, a particular young man was regular in a particular congregation. Somehow, he sees himself as a young man who is ready to get a wife so, he opted to kick-start something with someone in the same congregation, and with how they were taught such things should start.
In this congregation, they were taught that when a man wants a wife, he should seek the permission of their leader before commencing any approach to the young lady in question in that regard, and this young man did exactly that.
When he decided that it is time for him to take a wife, he approached his leader to seek permission from him to kick-start a relationship with one of the sisters in the congregation. When he approached his leader, his leader congratulated him for deciding to take the step and in the right way too by going to him first he added.
This leader asked the young man who the sister was and the young man told him who the sister he is liking is. The leader then asked the young man if he has spoken to the sister about his intention already, and of course, he hadn't spoken to her yet about it so, the young man told their leader, he has not told her yet about anything. This leader then told the young man that he would be the one to talk to the young lady first about it and when he does, he will then connect the two of them to start from there.
Some days later, their leader called the young man and told the young man he has spoken to the young lady and it turns out that he is her secret admirer also. It happened that both of them were liking each other from a distance already. Their leader then gave him a date to meet him in his office so he can formerly permit them to start dating.
The day came, and he got to their leader's office. Shortly afterwards, she got there also and their leader turned to the young lady and introduced the young man to her and told her, he said he likes you and would want to start seeing you and I wanted your possible relationship together to start with me so this is me permitting you guys to explore a possible relationship together. You can now leave my office and get to know each other better.
They left his office together, got talking for the first time and according to him, he never intend dating for long. He intends to get married to her as soon as possible and he had already told their leader the same thing. Their relationship at this time of dating must not include sexual activities and they both know it. They have been taught that since and they were both prepared for it.
After about two weeks of dating, he proposed to her and she said yes. According to him, almost all he thought she is, was exactly like that and even more. He felt blessed to be the man to have such a person as a wife. They made preparations to visit the young lady's parents to let them know officially that they are engaged and to also know the other rights involved to settle the traditional aspect. Of course, their leader is always involved in every step of the process.
They were supposed to visit the young lady's family in the third week but something came up at the young lady's workplace and they couldn't go that weekend. They rescheduled for the next weekend but somehow, this young lady fell ill on Tuesday of that week. The young man didn't know until the next day, Wednesday because she was trying to be strong when the illness started and never wanted to bother him about it.
Because of the state of her health on that Tuesday, she was asked to stay at home the next day which was Wednesday to check and take care of herself till she feels better. When this young man got to know that she was not feeling fine and was at home, he suspended all he was to do at the moment and went to see her. On getting to her house, he saw her lying down. He inquired if she had eaten something, and she said she has not eaten anything as she does not even feel like eating anything. He asked her what could be the matter, and she said she does not know for sure since she has not been examined yet.
He reached out to his phone at that point and placed a call to one of his doctor friends to come and examine her. As soon as the call ended, he went to a fishmonger who was close to her area and gets some fresh fish and pepper soup spices. He came back to her almost in no time and started preparing to make pepper soup. While the pepper soup was was been cooked on one burner of the gas cooker, he sets to boil rice on the other burner. In the process of cooking the rice and pepper soup, the doctor's friend he called came, examined her and found it was Malaria and Typhoid.
The doctor prescribed some drugs to be bought and taken by her but seeing his friend so busy in the kitchen trying to cook for his fiancee, the doctor opted to go get the drugs himself. He came back with the drugs almost when his friend has finished cooking. The doctor showed her the prescription, and how to take the drugs and left. The young man made warm water for his fiance to bathe in the bathroom. He came and escorted her to the bathroom so she can start bathing. After she stepped foot inside the bathroom, he left her and came to the kitchen to dish her food. He dished the food and served it on her bedside table, sat and wait for her to finish bathing and come out of the bathroom. When she had finished bathing and stepped out of the bathroom, he told her that, he needs to go continue the things he put on hold. He showed her the served food and water and encouraged her to eat and take her drugs, that he will be back in the evening to check up on her. And he left while she was yet to start creaming herself.
After the day's work, he headed to her place to check up on her before going home. When he got to her place, she was lying down, he opened the plates by the bedside table and saw that she barely touched the rice and only managed to eat a little of the fish. He inquired if that was the food he served or another set of food she dished. It was the food he served before leaving in the morning hours of the day. He further inquired if she tried to eat any other thing, and she said no. What about the drugs he asked. She didn't touch the drugs either. He called his doctor's friend to come while he warms the food he cooked earlier.
His doctor friend came when the food was set all ready to eat, and three of them join hands to eat. While they were eaten, he tried as much as he can to encourage, cajole, pet and sometimes force her to eat something, no matter how little. She tried and ate something and then when it gets to the time to take the drugs, it was another drama he said.
To cut the story short, he had to suspend almost everything he had to do from that week's Thursday to Saturday with the help of his doctor's friend and one or two sisters from their congregation to be with her to persuade her to eat and take her drugs until she felt a bit better.
After she feels better, he went to their leader and told him, he would not like to continue with the marriage anymore. The leader seems surprised and asked him why. And he said she is not ready to be alive. She is not ready to live he said. She is not ready and prepared to do anything it takes to stay alive. And the leader asked why he is saying what he is saying, and he recounted the experience he had with her a few days ago while she was ill.
He said I'm a busy person. A woman that cannot push herself to eat by herself and take drugs by herself unless someone pushes her over and over, isn't ready to live. If we get married, I would have to put everything on hold whenever she's ill and I wouldn't want that. Then when we have kids, it's more likely that the kids too would behave like her during periods of illness. I wouldn't like to go through such conditioning whenever she or any of the kids are ill.
For just that singular reason, a beautifully promising union never took place. As an adult, there are things we will do that will show that we are still children.
Let's live life like we are ready to live. Let's live life like we are ready to be alive. Until we behave as maturely as we should behave, most mature things will never happen in our lives.
As adults, one of the things we should do unapologetically is to do everything we can to be and stay alive. And there are things we do that show that we are not yet adults when we do things that show we are not ready and prepared to be and to stay alive.
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>>> Some Difference Between A Child And An Adult And Their Implications.
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